so much shit happens everyday. a lot has happened since August 25, 2006.
nothing that has made it onto this page, though.

I haven't had a cigarette in about 5 days now. the first few sucked real bad.
My head hurt, felt like a fever. At times it felt there was a nest of hornets in my skull.

Sometimes the hornet nest would move down to my stomach.
hours later it would move back to my skull, not quite as loud as before
but a lot more annoying.

the hornets left sometime yesterday. theren't weren't too many
left by then anyway. I knocked the nest down the day before.
everyday this week I went running for 20 to 40 minutes,
jarring the bastards out of my lungs and my ears and my nose.

there is no more buzzing now, no more headache.

I don't get crabby any more with people.
I'm more patient of people's ignorance and pride.
I'm more tolerant of the stupid and of assholes,
capitalist shits who care more about reputation and money.

I feel cleaner, I can exercise longer.
When other smokers are around they actually stink to me,
unpleasant, thick, dirty. the stale ammonia rolls off them
like grease from McDonalds fries.

One voice in my head says
"You've made it this far."
another says
"look how happy you are."
I want a smoke more than ever before.