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Psychic Uri Geller: Michael Jackson Denied Abuse Under Hypnosis

I hope and pray his nose falls off during testimony. Please let it happen, Bejebus.

Holy Shit! You crazy assholes.

The Biblical Forecast.

Tiny humanoid creature found in Chile.

And so it begins...


We all knew it would come to this. Michael Jackson, the King of Pop, soon faces a jury composed of his peers, who will determine his fate. Will Michael be convicted? Will Michael go to prison or, perhaps, instead he will just commit suicide. We don' know...too many variables. How crazy is he really? Would he consider fleeing? Perhaps his nose will fall off during the trial... Of course, he could, in his medical delirium, take to the ideas of the Nation of Islam, which, and you know this if you read the linked article, provide security at his after court public concerts and openly financed festivities. He then, with a total ignorance of the outside world comparable to that of your standard TVaholic, Fast Food junkie-style American more concerned with Brittany Spears drunken antics than with large numbers of people among the world's population that thinks it would be dandy to kill a few thousand other Americans (and not just the slobs who don't give a fuck), decides he will avenge Saddam's defeat and Bin Laden's whatever with a HAMAS-style suicidebomb jacket cleverly designed with Jackson's remaining fortunes... and Michael's final words as he stands to answer the tough, no nonsense judge...


"Allah Akbar..."

followed by that certain high pitched, womanly scream Michael is so well-known for and a crotch grab...a surviving tape from an MSNBC camera could allow us to see the final second and the rending of his flesh by hundreds of pounds of TNT in slow motion.


Of course, we don't know what will happen. This is going to be as if OJ had killed her on a video and was still found innocent. A fucking circus and CNN loves it. Oh god, what if Michael gets off due to some sort of Johnny Cochran antics? Rednecks would be especially outraged. Nothing they hate more than an bizarre, black, effeminate, allegedly child-molesting (lest we forget our duty as citizens to put our faith in a just outcome!), genuinely freaky guy.


Ah fuck it. The nukes could go off tomorrow for all we know.

fujohkan

HOLY SHIT

Crazy religious bastards attack crazy religious bastards in a third party's country, which does contain many crazy bastards.

Pray to BWENEUM in these End Times.

Dark is the hour, yet hope remains. May the flying squirrel brigade's arrival be quick and their aim true. BWENEUM is the answer.

What have we now? A world crippled by fear and ignorance!! A world who can barely move for the weight of selfish desire strapped across its back!! Now is truly the hour for sacrifice!!! But even the most steadfast servant of truth and good wants for the method!! What do we sacrifice? How do we revolt?! And for what? A new beurocracy? A new age of sillicon and enriched uranium? Where is the path, oh BWENEUM? For it is dark, and the servants of light want for nourishment!!! And for a way into the next age!! One that may never come to be, due to the folly of this one!! Help us BWENEUM!! Help yourselves!!! Escape if you can. All aboard for the Antartic ! Pack you bags and hope that the Ice caps don't melt completely!! We need a escape. We need ANYTHING but this day!!! Why, why why!!! We had dreamed that the days of nationalistic jingoism and nuclear proliferation were a bad dream of the 20th century!! Notions that , while fresh in our memory, could perhaps be put to bed. But now we find ourselves in the foyer of the 21st, with more to worry about than ever!! Don't let them lie to you!! Don't let them convince you this is how it must be!! Call upon yourself, and upon BWENEUM!! These days will pass. And into a new post-war age, we will gleefully slide. Or perhaps not.

So we see now how it has come to be that our doom is on the horizon. We have fallen into shadow!!!

But we turn!!! Oh how. Recently BWENEUM has been branching out into other, more archaic forms of random contact. Letter writing mostly. Snowball is speaking with me even now. Speaking of how to clean Kat-Kitty. See, he (Kat-Kitty, not Snowball) got underneath the porch and got oil on his leg. What's got into that cat? It's not friskies, I can tell ya that for damn sure. Unless he has found somwhere else to eat!
Surely BWENEUM is all that is right and good! Surely Kat-Kitty could betray our motives! But he can not speak!!He will never speak, for this is the cold truth about Kat-Kitty! We have roaches in our home, from filth, goddamnit. It is the fault of the UNCLEAN!!!!!! Like yrself, so remains the problem. So remains the indiference and apathy. And not the informed variation of these vices!! Not the excuseable, even understandable manifestation of these counterproductive appetites. NO!!! You practice the most inexcusable forms of of this avarice!! You act without though, or with thought reliant on things unseen! Thought reliant on self-serving psuedo-philosophy!! FOOL!!!! When will the reign come which shall put to an unforgiving and brutal end these administrations of ignorance which now determine our fate!!!??? Why must we, the servants of BWENEUM be subject to the whims of such foolishness, such blatant and unforgiveable sins of the mind!!!!!!!??????? The days will come when the virtues of patience and tollerance shall collapse!!! When finally the responsibble and thinking people of the world will bridge their petty differences of ideology, see the promise in one another, and unite, if only for a brief period, to squelch the ignorant and inadequate!! Those who truly DO NOT DESERVE THEIR OWN EXISTENCE!!!!! Quickly, let us draw together, before Cheney drops the nukes!!!!

The time is short in coming when the cry off the fool shal be drowned out by cannon fire. The nonsensical rant of the poet or cleric rendered obsolete by a cyclone doom. Let us rejoice then, not whimper! Let our shouts of happiness ring high to the landfill above our heads!!! For soon the destruction the fools have brought upon us will rain down tenfold upon their empty heads!! These prophesies have no allegance to the realm of the "supernatural!!" Cold logic betrays the truth. Listen to these words and believe! BWENEUM is near!!